We all want to be somebody.
How many times have you listened to someone or seen a movie.
Wanting to be that person on the screen or in your ear.
We all want to be somebody, but don’t want to give ourselves a chance.
We all go through trials and tribulations in our lives.
The paths are never paved, the hills are steep.
There’s no chairlift to take us to the top.
We all have to walk, find out own path.
What one person did, may not work for the next.
You have to stand tall, make your own path and live your own life.
Listening to the stories of others is great, but don’t follow there path.
Have your own life, have your own misfortunes. Be greatful for what you have and had.
Your past will make you a better person in your future.
May not like what you go through, nobody does.
You’ll have tunnels of darkness.
You’ll have pathways of light.
I don’t wish my life upon anyone.
Not my greatest friend, not my worse enemy.
I don’t want anyone elses life.
At times I don’t want to have mine.
In my mind I can see me being friendless in the future.
But if that’s the path I have to take, then so be it.
It’s my life, it’s my path.
I want to be somebody
I want to be ME
I am the quiet one with no voice.
I am the quiet one who can’t speak his mind.
When put in situations I hide.
I am the one who doesn’t like confrontation.
I know I’m not alone.
I know I’m not the only one who sits by himself in a dark room with his thoughts.
Wondering if certain things will change.
I am the one to tell all of you who also do that, your not alone.
I am the one to tell you that no matter what, life goes on.
Struggles are difficult in every sense of the word.
But life will go on.
I am the one who has made mistakes.
I am the one who have learned.
I am the one who use to reach out to others.
In this day and age it’s a tough thing to do.
It can be frowned upon if you do so.
It’s possible to be looked at in a negative way.
I am the one.
I am the one who’ll get through things either by himself or with someone.
I am the one who will never hide his past journey
I am the one who will never hide his past darkness
I am me
I am Kennie
Too Much Thinking Is Bad For My Health
I’ve put many people in positions in my mind that they say they wouldn’t do.
Lying to me or cheating on me, when they tell me the opposite.
I tend to over think everything, all possible scenarios.
If they want to do those things to me, I’ll gladly let them.
It tells me that they’re not worthy to have me in there life.
Some people have a revolving door of friends.
Mine is locked from the inside.
I don’t let many in, I let more out.
Trust doesn’t come easily to some, I’m the same.
Too much thinking is bad for my health.
It keeps me up at night.
It takes over my life and ruins my thoughts.
Need to start clearing my mind
Cleansing my thoughts.
Everyone can hurt me .
I’ll walk away from it all.
Alright so I said for the last little while that my next release “Make Waves” is going to be something different, unlike usual i’m not rushing it I’m letting things flow naturally but that’s not the different I’m talking about. The books I’ve released for the last year or two have always been listed under two poetry categories those two categories were:
The first one is obvious… because I am… The second one was because it was stuff that was going through my mind at the time and that I was perhaps going through at the time as well. Well the Make Waves release has been a long time coming I’ve had the cover created and the idea floating in my head since early September. I didn’t know if it was actually going to happen in 2017 and clearly it didn’t, I honestly didn’t know if it was going to happen in 2018.. However it clearly is going to be happening this year, I don’t know when but I do know that it will be my first release of 2018.
For those of you who are saying “what’s so different about this release from past releases ?” well with it being 2018 I’ve decided to turn over a new leaf and this release will be listed under two categories as well
As I said first one is obvious, however I find that this bit of poetry/prose is more inspirational and that is what I’m going for. For the last little while I’ve been listening to more and more inspirational music and needless to say it’s inspired me, it inspired me to turn over a new leaf, unlike many others who’ve done this and have removed there past stuff from all existence of the internet. I won’t be removing my past stuff because I want my journey to be available for all to read.
This maybe the first change I make this year but I’m sure it won’t be my last.
Looking For Light
Spent the last countless years drowning in darkness.
Having to make people feel sorry for me to feed off it.
The last time I had those feelings I was walking the halls.
High school made me feel that low, but other thoughts flooded my mind.
At times I didn’t know if I was going to get out of it alive.
Or was I going to turn my life over to the darkside.
Maybe that would have been the only way I found out.
That people cared about me, that they didn’t want me to do what I was doing.
Only one of them stepped up and showed me that, I freaked out. I ran.
She never seen me again, she didn’t know if anything happened.
Having to make someone else feel sorry for myself isn’t me.
I hated that side of me when it came out.
I can still hear my soul screaming out.
Wondering what the fuck am I doing.
Made a promise to myself years ago that I wouldn’t put myself through it.
But yet here I sit and I continued to go through it for years.
I thought that’s what I needed to do to be accepted.
Then an angel came to me, she woke me up.
Showed me that I didn’t have to act like that or be that way.
She tossed me a rope filled with compliments as she helped me climb out of the hole.
Showing me that I didn’t need to change.
That I was perfect the way I am.
Keep On Running
I see how you work.
You’ll only sit for so long, then you’ll run to the nearest.
Whomever will take you so you don’t have to put up with me.
It’s almost like I’m some kind of monster.
You’ve never been treated so great in your life.
Still continue to treat you great, no reason not to.
Ninety percent of the time when you leave you trip over your own feet.
I can’t help but laugh that you look at me as fucking evil.
Makes me wonder what you tell your friends.
No doubt they would believe you too. You always kept them hidden.
I bet you’ve been doing it all this time, as your own personal diary.
Be able to talk trash about me, act like I’m the worse.
But yet talk bible verses around me, saying how great I am.
Telling me I’ve treated you better than everyone else.
Makes me think if you did the same with all your past.
I can’t help but wonder about you.
I can see it in your eyes that you want to run.
At one point in time I would have tried to stop you.
Right now I would hold the door and help you pack the car.
If you really want to get away from me that bad.
It makes me sad really.
How quickly you’ve changed in such a short time.
Is this the real you that you’ve been hiding.
Since you tell me now that your never happy.
Your life’s goal is to make others happy since you don’t know how to make yourself.
Happy, I think that’s a lie. I think you’ve just been too busy running.
Trying to hide from your past, hoping it doesn’t catch up.
For people to lift the curtain and see what your really like.
I know I’m not a stage show, this is no act.
This nice guy, it’s who I am to everyone.
Sorry to make you think it’s fictious
Making you think it’s all aimed in your direction.
I don’t have a questionable past that I hide from.
Hopefully one day you’ll find out what your running from.
But I know the answer is you.
The ability to wrap my arms around you.
Hold you close to my body.
To make you feel loved.
At times it’s the only thing I’m good at.
But you tell me, I’m much more than that.
I don’t see it, I wonder why would anyone want to be that close.
To me, besides look at me. I’m nothing special.
I never have been, I often look down upon myself.
But at times we sit, interconnected with my arms wrapped around you.
Holding you tight against my body.
You look up at me and smile.
Telling me it’s your favorite place to be.
I can’t help but to gaze into your eyes.
Looking at them as you speak.
Always having trouble finding my own words.
Times sitting in silence.
Struggling to figure things out.
I continue to hold you close.
No matter where, private or public.
I try to make you feel loved.
Not sure if I’m even good at it.
I doubt myself a lot.
Self doubt of mine casts
A shadow onto the rest of me.
Making me second guess many things that I say
Even more than what I do.
Should I have done that ?
Would I have done it differently ?
Then I close my eyes.
When I open them your gone.