Well here we are, starting another week as the end of the year gets closer that much quicker. I see in this weeks forecast that snow is on it’s way all week long, I hate snow I’m sure I’m not the only one who does. Growing up in Canada I’m sure everyone is sick of it, usually snow also brings ice as well which is another thing I’m tired of not to mention these cold ass temperatures that come with the winter I guess it’s just another “welcome to Canada” but frankly I’m tired of it and it hasn’t even came full force yet.
With another week brings myself more sadness, not sure if anything is adding to it or not or just the fact that I’m more so generally sad. I don’t blame anyone for it since this is how I’ve been most of my life if not all of my life. I spend most of my time alone so I have a whole lot of downtime and alone time, so the sadness tends to kick in. This is just a general thing for me. I was on anti depressants for a while I first got a baby dosage, it didn’t do shit… I then got upped to the next level, it didn’t do shit. I then got dropped back to a baby dosage again but this time a different brand and that didn’t do shit but I then got upped to the next level of that and it didn’t do shit either. However I did get sent to a psychiatrist for my troubles who just kinda looked at me and didn’t understand much of what I said, honestly the guy had trouble speaking English I personally kinda found it funny. I didn’t laugh at the guy when I was there but after I left I chuckled to myself about what went on, it definitely made me scratch my head though. While sadness is on my mind I’ll post this:
I know I don’t have many friends, truth be told I’m a loner. I’ve always felt sorry for those who get to know me and not just those who just decide to talk to me once in a while but I mean those who really want to get to know me, your no doubt asking yourself “why”. Many times I happen to get sad, it depends on my level of trust for the person that I actually tell them when I’m sad or not. You know I trust you with my heart when I tell you that I’m sad. I’ve tried telling a friend or two in the past when I’m sad and they tend to freak out and run away, so I quit doing that. Most people who really get to know me often feel bad when I get sad because they feel like they can’t help me, it’s true it’s a tough thing to help. I won’t deny that, helping anyone whose sad is a tough thing to do. I think the best thing to do when someone is sad is just be there for them, talk to them. It doesn’t have to be about what’s making them sad but just spend time with them and let them know they’re not alone and that you actually truly do give a shit about that person. On that same note I’ve always told people who get really close to me I have always told them one simple line “Don’t say it, if it’s not true”. One of the worse things one can do is express feelings or emotions for you that are fake.
Alright well I guess I’m done here for another blog post, and for now I shall go.