Looking For Light
Spent the last countless years drowning in darkness.
Having to make people feel sorry for me to feed off it.
The last time I had those feelings I was walking the halls.
High school made me feel that low, but other thoughts flooded my mind.
At times I didn’t know if I was going to get out of it alive.
Or was I going to turn my life over to the darkside.
Maybe that would have been the only way I found out.
That people cared about me, that they didn’t want me to do what I was doing.
Only one of them stepped up and showed me that, I freaked out. I ran.
She never seen me again, she didn’t know if anything happened.
Having to make someone else feel sorry for myself isn’t me.
I hated that side of me when it came out.
I can still hear my soul screaming out.
Wondering what the fuck am I doing.
Made a promise to myself years ago that I wouldn’t put myself through it.
But yet here I sit and I continued to go through it for years.
I thought that’s what I needed to do to be accepted.
Then an angel came to me, she woke me up.
Showed me that I didn’t have to act like that or be that way.
She tossed me a rope filled with compliments as she helped me climb out of the hole.
Showing me that I didn’t need to change.
That I was perfect the way I am.
Every so often I feel that itch, you know the one I’m talking about.. A old hobby of yours that you tried to walk away from but every so often it keeps coming to mind making you think “should you try it again ?” One of my biggest hobbies has been websites, the shit I created myself has always been very basic, like painfully basic. But it got the message acrossed and it allowed for people to see what’s going on in my life, I once again had that itch of putting up my own website. But I don’t know, it’s such a dilemma it takes nothing to do it except about ninety seconds of my time to upload it, however the question that I keep asking myself is “is it worth it ?” sure people read what I post here on this blog however what I’ve grown to realize over the years is that most people who have websites generally just rely on facebook or a wordpress site to do the evil deeds of relaying information to the masses. I have thought about doing both wordpress and website but while it’s a itch to scratch I don’t know if it’s really worth my time. I’m not saying that it would help with my severe case of boredom which as of late my boredom has been off the fucking charts, but as of late it’s just the notion of nobody looking at it which is why the thought of me putting it back online does nothing but really scratch my head and make me wonder “is it worth the time” that’s currently what the battle is that goes on in my head.
I’ve recently added a new option on the lovely menu for this site called… Donations.. yes that’s right it means that if you want to toss some coin my way to help me out it would be greatly appreciated and it’ll allow me to do more without me having to jot down IOU’s
Well if you live in one of the many places that get snow you can relate to no doubt hating those white flakes as they fall, well in my latest addition to the guide to the galaxy they get talked about.
I had a thought for the next page but man I so lost that train of thought hahaa, I had a few ideas for what else to write about but as quick as I had them I didn’t, oh well it’s no big deal. I’m sure they’ll come to me sooner than later.
Alright so I have signed up for a site called NoiseTrade which I was on previously. Basically this site allows me to give my music away for free and if you care to drop me a tip then you can. Or if you just want to snag it for free that’s fine too, you can even listen to it first if you want. So if your interested in hearing what I’ve created up until now:
So many of you whom stopped by may have taken the chance to go ahead and read the first chapter, truthfully when I wrote it. I kinda struggled with writing it. I did take a portion of that stuff from my own life and how I am, but I really had fun with this second chapter which is more so focused on females. Now I didn’t say anything to be overly offensive cause that’s not really my style, however I did say much of this out of fun. I can’t honestly say none of this has happened to me, a little bit has. But lets face it I’m sure I’m not the only guy who has had a little bit of this happen to. It sucks when it happens but after a while all you can do is laugh about it.
Trying to write something different is a bit of a struggle but I’m trying to have fun with it. Right now I don’t know when it’ll be sent off for distribution, it might not be. Who really knows right now.
But anyways if your interested in reading it, here ya go:
Alright so I’ve finally decided to start something new and you fine people who decide to follow my blog get to follow me as I write this, everytime I update things I will be sure to let you all know. My next release will be called “Kennie’s Guide To The Galaxy“. I usually write mostly poetry/poems type of thing and I have written a small bit of stories in the past but I have decided to try my hand in the world of Sci-Fi so here goes nothing right… Anyways you can either click the title of my next release or HERE to go start reading