Let The Countdown Begin

14 days from today and POOF
I’m gone, not to be heard of again.
Yup, I kept thinking about it.
I finally am doing it.

It’ll be perminate
It’s what people want to be happy
My facebook account will be perminately deleted
Only have a few ways of getting in touch with me

Not like it matters, my phone will be dead
I won’t hear from anyone
My email will get a digital tumbleweed
Nothing new coming in

So that’s what people want me to do is to exit from them
To walk away, never to be heard from again
Guess I’ve always been on this planet to make people happy
Or try to, starting to think why I was bullied

Had to make them feel superior so it made them happy
Clearly that’s what I was on this planet for
Clearly that’s why I am on this planet
I would say it’s possible to stop

It is, but I doubt it will be
Nobody will care
I’ve always been an after htought in so many people’s minds
It’s not like it matters

My life won’t change much
Still sitting around the house not doing much
More time to concentrate on my writing
More time to concentrate on other hobbies

Time will tell what other hobbies I attempt to get into
Can’t wait to see what my mind comes up with
So as you wish, You no longer have to hear from me
I shall vanish from your life

I would say if you want to talk you know how to reach me
But I know I won’t hear from you

The clock is ticking


Forget Me

I wish people would just forget me.
Continue to live there lives like I don’t exist.
Not that I play a big role
I’m just a inconveince I know I am

Not sure why people put up with me
When so many better people exist
I know everyone would be better off if I wasn’t apart of things
Less crap they would have to put up with.

Lives would no doubt be better
People would be much happier
I’m like the troll under the bridge
Not asking for a toll, just being the annoyance

That nobody seems to pay attention to
Besides why should they
Never been anything special
Never will be either

I’m too stupid to even change
That I know that I can admit
Not sure what the future holds
At this point do I even care

Honestly, not really.
I’m tired of people feeling sad for me, I wish they’d rather just forget me instead
That would be the easiest thing for them to do
I don’t know what else they expect from me

Doing the same thing everyday
Becoming an annoyance
Maybe I should just quit asking for things I know I won’t get
I don’t think anyone would overly care.

It would just be easier on them, but they would no doubt love that
So maybe that’s what I should do.
Just sit backand zip my lips, say little in return
They can  go on and I will stay back.

Just like verything else in life
I always stay back
Everyone else always moves on and moves faster
Just the way it was meant to be.


My Brain

I’ve always hated how my brain works
How it processes information, always seems to want to goto panic mode
Always looking for the worse
Needing something to stress over

I wish I could stop it
I’m tired of it
Can’t stand the stress from my brain
I keep thinking maybe things will change tomorrow

That’s not the case, it’s almost like tomorrow makes it worse
At times I wish my brain would just stop
But I know what that would mean and others wouldn’t like it
Or so I’m guessing, maybe they would, I don’t know

At times I wonder if there’s something wrong with me.
I feel like I can’t sit down and do some thinking without going into panic
Start thinking about the future and how screwed I am
Start wondering how can I possibly change it, realize it’s not possible.

It’s almost like my life is a train stuck on it’s tracks and I see the future
Can’t really do anything about it except sit and wait
Wondering when will it get to me, wondering how bad it’s going to be
Who am I kidding, I know it will be bad.

I’m going to be lost, confused and completely fucked
Always felt like I have no place to go, I get the feeling it’ll be true.
It makes me not want to get out of bed at times
Hopefully laying in bed will help me out

But I already know that it won’t
I feel like I don’t even know who I am
People keep telling me to do certain things with my life.
My life hasn’t worked out in that way yet.

I feel like life isn’t for me
Not sure what would be for me.
Maybe something
Maybe nothing



I feel like my brain is plagued with sadness
At times I don’t know if it’s flooding my brain more
Or if it’s just leaving me confused

I’ve spent days just looking at the wall
Wondering when this day will be over
Just to crawl back into bed

Even days that I know I’m having trouble sleeping
I try to fill my mind with happier thoughts
At times it doesn’t work, the sadness just comes in.

I feel like I’m being chased by it.
But I keep tripping up
So it always seems to find it’s way to catch me.

The endless cycle that it is, is there no way around it.
Is it like a video game where I am missing a secret entrance.
Maybe this is what my life has become

Me drowning an endless ocean of sadness.
Always being pulled under
Will I ever be able to breathe

Is this what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life
At times I think it is.
Always what I’ve wanted

Maybe one day, someone will save me.
Being able to pull me from it
To show me the better side of life.


Studying To Get Better

220px-HowtorapWhile I write a lot of poetry and at times I go back and read some of my stuff and think “WOW that came from me ? I’m impressed”…  I’ve always tried different things to make myself better and one of the things I enjoy doing is listening to a whole lot of rap / hip-hop music.. If you know me personally it’s no surprise when you hear rap / hip-hop coming out of my speakers.

I recently came across two books called “How To Rap” in which the writer sits down with a number of rappers and discuss there styles and that sort of thing. I think these are two books I need to add to my book shelf. I might just order these two books today through amazon. We will see how the rest of the day goes…  Or I might leave it, kinda on the fence about it, it would perhaps teach me a few things I didn’t know or it might make me better..

Haven’t quite decided right now, I like the idea of it but I have to let my mind think


Just A Dumb Guy

I’m just a dumb guy, nothing that great about me.
Sharing random thoughts with the world upon a blog
Dipped into the world of erotic writing, never knew
How much it would take out of me.

Found myself drowning, surrounded by sex. Never been my life
Every chance I got that’s all I found I was looking at.
Finally when I got away it made me feel depressed
Sat alone for a few days, looking at the wall

Trying to gather my thoughts
Many enjoy Dare 2
I called it mentally exhausting, depressing even.
It would just be random thought I wrote about, but I drew myself in.

Not exactly the thing I want
Not even sure if I’m ready to write right now
Just hiding away from things seems like the best method
I just feel more quiet, more than usual.

I don’t know what to do as I watch the time tick away.
Feeling more bored as of late, more than ever.
Sitting and looking at the screen
Wondering what’s next for me

Is my writing life hit it’s peak
Is it time for me to just quit doing it
Do I need to find something else to write about


Left You All Wet And Wanting More

Dare2So what many of you may or may not know at this point in time, I released a few erotic stories that I posted directly on here as well as I released another book called “Dare 2” yup it finally got released.

The final line of the write up is: It will leave you wet and wanting more.

Clearly that’s the case, as in less than 12 hours I have 59 views (as of this post)  Haven’t seen things jump that high in a while. Of course unlike my last few releases this one was released through Smashwords because of the fact that Bookrix doesn’t like to distribute erotica for a few reasons which they explained to me and I can understand why, it’s a very touchy thing to release. Since erotica can range from a large section of things and it can get into some very interesting content and it may make people feel uneasy.

In fact the most common thing that gets mentioned from distributors can be settled as confusing to some, for example in some cases the person who writes it like’s to have the female call the male “Daddy”.  Which could be taken a few different ways and can be understanding why certain companies won’t distribute things. That’s one of the most common things that basically walk on the edge.

So if your an erotica writer and you use stuff like that where one of your characters calls your other character “Daddy” or “Mommy” and you get rejected, it’s not that your shit isn’t good enough. It’s the wording that sometimes people get uncomfortable with for that reason. That’s just a little bit of information for all you writers and anyone who actually want to know.

I honestly wish I had a few reviews, I’m curious how people enjoy or dislike the book. I know I have written a few of my readers but I haven’t heard back from anyone.


Middle Of The Night

After a long day you finally made it to the bedroom got changed and crawled into bed for some much needed shut eye you get under your covers and you fall asleep almost instantly, of course finding it warm during the night you end up pulling the covers off you as you lay wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Your room is so dark you couldn’t see your own hand infront of your face. While laying there in a deep sleep you feel a light tickle on your thigh as if someone runs there hand down it. You don’t think much about it, you feel it again this time it brings you out of sleep to the point where your just barely awake and not sure if you can make sense of what’s going on.

You then feel the hand slide up your thigh and under your shorts caressing your tight pussy, it begins to get wet. You squirm to try and get away from it but almost instantly you after that you feel two hands pulling your shorts completely off your body, you goto reach down when you feel someone’s hand grabbing both your wrists with one hand and you finally hear him speak as he whispers in your ear “I’ve been watching you for so long, now it’s time to make you mine” … You whisper back “please let me go” .. You feel a cock rub against your pussy a few times then before you could say another word it plunges itself deep inside, you feel your tight pussy stretch around his cock as you bite your lip and let out a moan at the sametime. You feel every single vein in his cock rubbing the inside of your pussy, he slowly begins to pull out, then he slides himself back in. You feel every thing as your juices begin to flow out of your pussy and they begin to glisten his cock as he continues to slide himself in and out slowly.

The next thing you feel is him pushing your shirt up revealing your breasts, not soon after his lips kissing your breasts and his tongue flicking against your nipples You let out a moan “OMG it’s in me so deep I think I can feel it in my stomach” he slowly pulls out yet again while he licks your nipples. Slapping his cock against your pussy when it’s finally out and while he continues to hold your arms he gets off the bed, rubbing his cock against your lips as you open your mouth to speak it plunges in, you can feel it in your throat as he slides it in and out.

He then helps you out of bed and walks you not far away from it where he turns you around and slowly helps you sit on a chair, but as you begin to sit on the chair you notice that it’s not just a chair but it has a dildo on it as it’s so easily sliding itself into your pussy, it stretches you just as much as his cock did, he goes back to plunging his cock in your mouth again before stopping as you feel like you’ve left a puddle on the chair, before you hear a click. Not long after you feel the very tip of that dildo vibrating, almost like a soft buzz as you feel like your insides are going numb while it’s making you get wetter and wetter. You hear another click and you feel the shaft begin to vibrate a heavier buzz but also you notice about it retracting and growing again, almost like it’s thrusting itself into you, each one of the veins on the dildo begin to pulsate with vibrations.. Your body can’t contain itself it’s almost like three different vibrators at once. It continues to thrust itself in and out of you, you begin to moan soft at first but louder and louder as time goes on, you have tried to fight it this far but the fight is now over as you finally have an orgasm not long after a second one occurs you beg for it to stop but it doesn’t by the fourth orgasm that you have you find that your so wet that you slide off the dildo and fall to the ground, your legs twitching. You blackout from the excitement.

When you come to in the morning you realize that your laying naked near a very large window where all your neighbors can easily see you and many of them are looking at you, you wonder if it was all a dream the night before or was it a nightmare. Did you just put on a show for your neighbors allowing them to watch you have multiple orgasms until you pass out or is there something else going on



On a rather warm day your laying on the bed, trying to stay cool as well as relax while you let your mind float above in the clouds.

As you lay on your stomach arms stretched out above you, the next thing you know is you see complete darkness, you can tell that something is covering your eyes, fabric. As you reach up to touch it someone grabs your hands holding them against the bed you hear the familiar clicking sound of what appears to be handcuffs. You say “whose there ?” “talk to me” but your not replied to.

You try to lift your hands up again to your face and you notice that you now have limited mobility as the handcuffs appear to be tied to something since you can’t touch your own face.

You feel the bed sink as if someone is climbing on it you say again “whose there ?” “talk to me” “what are you doing to me ?” the next thing you feel is someone straddling you forcing your shirt up to your shoulders, you feel your bra being undone and pulled up as your breasts become free as they press against the bed. You feel two hands one groping either breast from each side of your body, they pinch your nipples soft at first but the pinch gets stronger and stronger. As the hands gently caress you and run down your body to your waist, you feel the hands and arms wrap around you pulling you up to your knees. As quick as you get situated your pants and panties get pulled down pulling them down to your ankles exposing your entire naked body.

You then begin to feel kisses down your body starting wtih at your neck and working down your spine, you once again get vocal “whose there ?” “talk to me” “what are you doing to me ?”.. Once again the sound of your voice falls silent to a answer, you feel your pants and panties get completely pulled off your body followed by your legs getting spread apart exposing your freshly shaved pussy, a hand reaches down and caresses your pussy lips massaging it with fingers you bite your lip letting out a very soft moan unexpectedly followed by saying “what are you doing to me ?”
You continue to feel the fingers massaging your pussy as you get more and more aroused, as the juices begin to flow and it becomes very apparent that you are turned on.

Suddenly you feel the hand stop massaging your pussy lips and you feel the hands turning you over so your on your back, showcasing your entire naked body for all to see.
Before you know what’s going on you feel fingers massaging your pussy again then they stopped feeling the hands spreading your legs wider you then feel a tongue dancing on your pussy, spreading it’s lips so it can slide inside then it licks your clit and dances itself on that massaging it. Once again you begin to moan, your nipples stand erect, in between moans your voice trembles as you speak “please, why are you doing this to me ?” … “please stop”

The tongue dancing stops, you then feel your nipples getting licked, finding that very arousing more than usual you bite your lip again. You feel the bed shift as you open your mouth to speak again but then a cock gets shoved in your mouth as he slides it in and out of your mouth for a few thrusts you feel it growing stiffer and longer as he continues to thrust his cock into your mouth, while doing so you begin to feel fingers once again dancing on your pussy as you have the cock thrusting inside of your mouth the fingers then slide deep into your tight pussy you let out a moan as you feel them plunge in, as his cock thrusts in you can feel his fingers slide out, as his cock pulls out you can feel his fingers slide in.. Your body is just filling with desire and all sorts of new feelings.

Before you could even wonder how long your body could go on feeling these feelings you begin to moan like your trying to say something, he pulls his cock out of your mouth and the words that escape your mouth are “OMG, I’m going to cum” As you feel the fingers slide out of you but spreading your pussy lips and keeping them open you let out a loud moan.

An hour later you open your eyes, find yourself laying in bed, wondering if what happened was real you look down and see yourself naked but your hands are free. You move your legs and notice a very very big wet spot on your bed, asking yourself “did you cum that much in the dream ?” you lift your arms seeing a pair of handcuffs hanging off of one of your arms. A smile crawls across your face.